bugs wouldn't be nearly as gross if they didn't leave an icky spot after you smoosh them.
- posted by mer @ 10:04 PM ~

 

Rise Against is officially the second greatest band of all time. and if you need to ask me what the greatest band of all time is, then i'm sorry, but i will no longer be able to associate myself with you.
- posted by mer @ 2:12 AM ~

 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE HOTNESS!!!!
that means it's my birthday too, but i generally don't wish myself a happy birthday....i'll probably be having a party the weekend before school/orientation starts....so don't plan anything else. :)
- posted by mer @ 9:02 PM ~

 
Slerta: well we'll talk after your birthday
Mer498: and on saturday
Slerta: i just threw up in my mouth a little
- posted by mer @ 2:19 AM ~

 
everything's not ok. i'm not alright. i keep telling people that i'm fine, and that everythign will be ok, because i can't stand to have people look at me that way. i hate it. but things are so messed up. i don't even feel like me anymore, and there's no one here to help me deal with it. i just want to leave and have it all go away. this can't be my life. things can't just become this horrible overnight. they can't. this is going to be my senior year. i'm supposed to be happy, and loving everything, because that's just how i always imagined this would be. i don't want to spend half my time wandering around hospitals, or making small talk and trying to pretend that i'm not on the verge of crying, or having people i've never met before in my life trying to give me a hug and say that they understand, because they don't. no one does, and i don't care, but don't try to pretend that you understand something when you don't. it hurts. it hurts so much to see people patronizing you and saying everything will work out alright even when they don't even grasp the magnitude of the situation, or have even an inkling of what you're going through, or the idiot people who swarm up around you trying to help and all of the people you once considered your real friends are suddenly just another member of this crowd, because however much they might care, they still don't get it. and now it's the day before my birthday, and this is already byfar the worst birthday ever. my dad's in new jersey. my mom can barely make it out of the house. all i want to do is just curl up in some remote corner and never ever come back. i don't want to spend my birthday trying to figure out how to make the dishwasher stop beeping. i don't want to wash the neighbor's giant bowl that used to have mashed potatoes in it and return it to them. i don't want to get my hopes up when the phone rings just to have to tell another telemarketer to fuck off. i want to go back to how things are supposed to be. i want to be selfish on my birthday, and enjoy my digital camera, and have cake after a nice dinner wherever i choose to go with my parents. i don't want to go out to dinner with aunt connie. that's not how things are supposed to work. i don't want to see that spot growing larger and larger every day. i don't want to be scared and worried all the time. i want a normal life again. i don't want to be left all alone in my bedroom crying and clinging to my giant teddy bear because he's the only thing i can find that won't try to talk to me or run away. i want my life back.
- posted by mer @ 2:05 AM ~

 
fun excuses:
I was late for class because the bell rang before I got here!!
Excuse Zac for he fell down the stairs studying for his algebra test.
Please excuse my tardiness, My Mother took Drugs while she was pregnant with me.

Student: " Miss! Would you punish someone for something they didn't do?"
Teacher: "Um, No i wouldn't, not if that person hadn't done it."
Student: " Good, because i didn't do my homework!"

Excuse my daughter for being absent for three weeks. She's going to have a baby.
I won't be in today. I'm still drunk from last night.
When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
I lost my car keys skiing and I can't leave until I find them!
I can't come into work today, because the hot water tap broke on the bathtub.
Please excuse Henry for being late. He was stuck in the bathroom without any toilet paper.
I'll be in late this morning. I have a possum in my backyard and it's freaking out my dog. I have to get it out before I can leave.
- posted by mer @ 2:12 AM ~

 

- posted by mer @ 12:30 AM ~

 

- posted by mer @ 2:51 PM ~

 
this is not going to be a good week.
- posted by mer @ 9:18 PM ~

 
bill maher:
Now, Americans this week have acted like the so-called "runaway bride" is crazy for skipping town rather than marrying a Sunday school teacher in Duluth, Georgia. Ah, yes, the good life: the bake sales, the prayer meetings, the abortion protests, who could just walk away from all that? How come when the girl from "Titanic" ditches her fiance, it's the greatest romance of all time, but when Jennifer Wilbanks does it, she's a "criminal loon with a case of temporary insanity"?

Temporany sanity is more like it. She was staring down the barrel of 14 bridesmaids and 600 guests in the Georgia heat watching a Baptist in a blue suit sanctify her sex life with Welch's grape juice and a reading from The Purpose-Driven Life. Suddenly, Greyhound to Vegas looked pretty good!

Jennifer, I applaud your rugged individualism. You eloped with yourself. And to Vegas! Baby, that's money! I mean, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Whereas, the woman who marries in Georgia...stays in Georgia.
-------
New Rule: Jesus is not a candle. A company in South Dakota is selling candles with the scent of Jesus. You light one and your friends say, "Christ, what's that smell?!" It's true. The formula comes straight out of the Bible. It's from the little-known letter of Paul to the Aromatherapists. But if Jesus had smelled so great, how come everybody was always offering to wash his feet?
-------
New Rule: I don't need an annoying little sticker on each individual piece of fruit. Let me get this straight: our borders aren't secure, but we're still going through the plums by hand? You know, those stickers are the opposite of appetizing, especially the one on kiwis that says, "Don't these kind of look like your balls?"
-------
New Rule: Get rid of the baby-changing station in the men's room. Let's stop pretending that it has been or ever will be used. You're only tempting a short homeless man to use it as a Murphy bed.
-------
New Rule: Not everything is a conspiracy. Black History Month is in February because Lincoln and Frederick Douglass were born in February, not because it's the shortest month. So here's the deal: you accept that on faith, and we'll pretend you didn't completely make up Kwanzaa.
-------
New Rule: You can't tell people by email that you've given them chlamydia. The San Francisco Health Department has a new service that lets you send an Internet greeting card to someone you may have infected with an STD. "Roses are red, orchids are grey, congratulations, you have Hepatitis A."
-------
New Rule: If you're blind, you don't have to pick up your guide dog's poop. Here in California, a blind couple is headed to court over complaints that they didn't. You see, they would have, but they can't see shit! And besides, that blind couple has more important things to worry about, like their jobs as document checkers for CBS.
-------
Some of these rules you'd think I wouldn't have to point out, but okay. New Rule: When somebody dies, we shouldn't cut off their head and drill holes into it. Ted Williams belongs in the hall, not the fridge. It's time to admit that cryogenics is one of those technologies that just doesn't work, like the missile defense shield and hair transplants.
- posted by mer @ 11:55 PM ~

 
caitlin: did you know that babies don't cry as much when you wrap them up tightly?
*pause*
meredith: yes, i do know that.
- posted by mer @ 8:46 PM ~

 
[on the 2004 election]
"The majority of people in America are scared to death, and they think that, by embracing the monster, they won't be scared anymore." -art alexakis
- posted by mer @ 2:17 AM ~

 
if cleanliness is next to godliness, that would help explain why a lot of atheists are really messy people.

- posted by mer @ 1:50 AM ~

 
i've decided to boycott the band "anthrax" even though i found a song of theirs on itunes that i really like due to the heinous beard their lead singer has. anyone care to join me?
- posted by mer @ 11:31 PM ~

 
Velvetskylark: hate you...hate you hate you hate you a lot i have to go my dad wants the computer
- posted by mer @ 5:03 PM ~

 
AP SCORES CAME!!! 4 ON US AND 5 ON CALCULUS!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!now i won't have to strangle my mailman for not delivering it on time :)
- posted by mer @ 4:26 PM ~

 
it's really weird. for most of the summer i didn't have much of anything planned, and i only talked to people occasionally depending on who was online whenever i signed on, and now all of a sudden i've got a whole lot of stuff going on. when most people are still out of town. this really is the best weekend ever....only it's stretching from thursday to monday. (we'll just have to see about tuesday)
- posted by mer @ 12:12 AM ~

 

fabulous book. absolutely fabulous. very sad though.
- posted by mer @ 12:43 PM ~

 



an entire website dedicated to cow cartoons!!!
- posted by mer @ 10:07 PM ~

 
eric: man, a dinner party? why don't we do something fun like drive up to the border and throw stuff at the canadians?
kelso: yeah! i mean, it's not like they ever fight back! they're canadians!
-that 70's show
- posted by mer @ 8:37 PM ~

 
thanks to the high tech tools of a toothbrush, a party city bag, and rubber gloves i stole from the hospital, i now have purple-ish highlights in my hair. it's awesome.
caitlin did a really good job. and we did a really good job being creative with what to use. muahahahaha. and starquetia (i really don't know how to spell that name) the new senior lounge mascot, has awesome hair too. today has been a success.
- posted by mer @ 7:07 PM ~

 
bad santa: shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first.
---
despite what they say, mathematics is an art. -a beautiful mind
---
george: life passes most people by while they are making grand plans for it. throughout my lifetime, i've left pieces of my heart here and there. now, there's almost not enough to stay alive. But i force a smile, knowing my ambition far exceeded my talent -blow
---
Oh! You're not a singing group, you're a cult! -bubble boy
jimmy's mom: something tells me she's not the kind of friend jesus would pick, jimmy.
- posted by mer @ 8:22 PM ~

 
fabulous movie:
leland: and that's when i figured out that tears couldn't make somebody who was dead alive again. there's another thing to learn about tears; they can't make somebody who doesn't love you any more love you again. it's the same with prayers. i wonder how much of their lives people waste crying and praying to god. if you ask me, the devil makes more sense than god does. i can at least see why people would want him around. it's good to have somebody to blame for the bad stuff they do. maybe god's there because people get scared of all the bad stuff they do. they figure that god and the devil are always playing this game of tug-of-war game with them. and they never know which side they're gonna wind up on. i guess that tug-of-war idea explains how sometimes, even when people try to do something good, it still turns out bad.
---
pearl: i'm only human, man.
leland: it's funny how people only say that after they do something bad. i mean, you never hear someone say, "i'm only human" after they rescue a kid from a burning building.
---
leland: this one is something a friend of mine said to me. "you have to believe that life is more than the sum of its parts, kiddo." i remember it right down to the "kiddo" part. but when I think about what she said, the same thing always comes into my head. what if you can't put the pieces together in the first place?
-the united states of leland
- posted by mer @ 7:59 PM ~

 
how is it possible that harris teeter makes better blueberry muffins than panera bread?
- posted by mer @ 1:43 AM ~

 
we brought my mom home today
- posted by mer @ 8:05 PM ~

 
kudos to jacqueline for actually talking. and coming up with an appropriate amount of questioning and comments. and discussing AP exams. damn i want to know how i did...i could strangle my mailman. arg. and i lost my username and password thing that would let me access the va tech online application. whoops. i guess i'll have to contact them somehow and tell them i need another one. or need to be mailed my old one again. either way, grrrrr. too many things going on at once...
- posted by mer @ 1:48 AM ~

 
leximullet!

- posted by mer @ 11:17 PM ~

 
man...i love these buttons/stickers:

all of these are from stickergiant.com
- posted by mer @ 2:59 AM ~

 
hide and seek at the rock garden totally rules. for those of you who didn't go, you need to the next time we get one organized. it was awesome. it kinda turns into a whole bunch of people hang out and have fun, but that's still awesome. i taught some guy i've never met on this other girl i didn't know's cell phone how to tie a tie. over the phone. as in, without the visual aspect. and he got it! i was so amazed that it actually worked....but yeah. yay fun.
- posted by mer @ 2:39 AM ~

 
AznInvazn693: he seemed like such a nice geek
AznInvazn693: ...
- posted by mer @ 10:44 PM ~

 
some of my favorite movie quotations:
lisa: "if i could have any job in the world i'd be a professional cinderella." -girl, interrupted
---
courtney: why do we all have to diet?
sparky: because! in cheerleading we throw people into the air. ind fat people don't go very high.-bring it on
---
murtaugh: god hates me. that's what it is.
riggs: hate him back; it works for me. -lethal weapon
---
lisa: imagine you're a deer. you're prancing around. you get thirsty. you spot a little brook. you put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water - BAM! a fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head! your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. now i ask you, do you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearin?! -my cousin vinny
---
laney: "screw the dolphins."
jesse: "tried that last year. banned from seaworld for life." -she's all that
---
wayne: "garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries!" -wayne's world
---
Russel: "it will be terry's job to give the actors their hand cue."
wayne: "excuse me, russel, but i believe i requested the hand job..." -wayne's world
- posted by mer @ 8:45 PM ~

 
have you ever bitten into the top of a muffin thinking "ooooo, yum!" but then it turns out to be a TOTALLY different type of muffin than what you thought it was? still delicious, mind you, but a completely different type of muffin. this has probably never happened to you, but i've just gotta say, that did NOT look like a blueberry muffin.
- posted by mer @ 3:50 AM ~

 
"you know, good at chess usually means bad at life" -dirty pretty things
-------
"don't use that word. that's a bad word. a curse world. you could go to hell for using a word like that"
"what's hell?" says malachy.
"you'll know soon enough" says delia.
-angela's ashes
- posted by mer @ 1:22 AM ~

 
i kently
- posted by mer @ 11:14 PM ~

 
was disturbed by the dogs at midnight. again at 3:00am. and at 8:30am. got up around 1:00. went to the hospital. waited for half an hour. went to a different part of the hospital. stayed for an hour or so. came home. made coffee. threw a flower pot at the house and watched it shatter. sat outside in the rain and cried for an hour and a half. changed clothes. dried hair. put on makeup. repeat.
- posted by mer @ 6:05 PM ~

 
life's most challenging questions:
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change
their name to Knockers?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
What happens if you put the 'this side up' face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
- posted by mer @ 1:08 AM ~

 
Velvetskylark: they look vaguely like hebrew characters...even though the only ones that i'm familiar with are the ones i've seen on dradles...that is so not how you spell that word
Mer498: dreidels
Velvetskylark: thank you
Mer498: you're welcome
- posted by mer @ 11:04 PM ~

 

- posted by mer @ 9:27 PM ~

 
sarah bare's planning another awesome game of hide and seek in the rock garden on saturday! 1:00pm! be there! i will be!
- posted by mer @ 1:26 PM ~

 
oh, the irony. i get it now. i'd kinda hoped i never would, because that means it's happened to you too, and there are some things you're just better off not knowing. now i get why people never say anything. it's just easier that way-for everyone. like some weird combination of denial and escape. or just the lack of adequate words to express anything of substance. either way, it just leads to a whole lot of silence. that silence is frightening though. you lose touch with reality, go hours without even thinking about it. then when you remember again, it's a shock that things really are that bad. because there's no way out of it, no easy fix, and nothing to do but put your entire life in someone else's hands and wait. wait for the procedure, wait for the results, wait for the next step, and start all over again, and hope it actually does something. i want my life back.
- posted by mer @ 12:22 AM ~

 


senior prank anyone?

- posted by mer @ 9:53 PM ~

 
always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. that will teach you to keep your mouth shut. -ernest hemingway

one can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar. -helen keller

i'm glad the President finally found an economic development program. i'm just sad that it's only in baghdad. -john kerrry
- posted by mer @ 7:59 PM ~

 
The word "dude" is the name for an infected elephant butt hair.
- posted by mer @ 11:04 PM ~

 
Why?
Why do you do it?
You're really nuts
Look at those burns!
Look at those cuts!

Why do you do it?
You're sick in the head
If you don't stop this nonsense
You'll end up dead.

Why do you do it?
It just makes me mad
You're seeking attention
You're stupid, you're bad.

I do it to cleanse me
To get rid of the dirt
Cutting and burning
Helps heal my hurt.

I do it to punish
To experience the pain
To seek restitution
For the guilt and the shame.

I do it to numb me
I do it to feel
To distance myself
Or to make myself real.

To answer your question
The reason I'd give
Why do I do it?
I do it to live!
-sinead
- posted by mer @ 10:39 PM ~

 
stole this from lydia. i love it.

- posted by mer @ 9:05 PM ~

 
Mer498: man, i had so much fun at engineering camp....and i didn't even do anything illegal
CoffeeCrazed05: damn, that's a first
Mer498: if that weren't true, i'd be offended
- posted by mer @ 12:14 AM ~

 

You Are 30% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it. But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over. On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead... And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

Your Daddy Is Darth Vader

What You Call Him: Big Daddy Why You Love Him: He takes you to Disneyland

Your Political Profile

Overall: 10% Conservative, 90% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

- posted by mer @ 11:15 PM ~

 
noah/moses: this one time, i went to a 7/11, and i got some food, and it cost exactly $7.11
and now some excerpts from conversations back in the day:
Velvetskylark: *sniff...SOB...WAHHHHHHH!!!! I'M AN OUTCAST! JUST LIKE THE PENGUIN!!!!!
Mer498: lmao
Mer498: but can you sing?
Velvetskylark: yes
Mer498: good
Mer498: :)
Velvetskylark: me and the elijah penguin will just be outcast together
Mer498: that would be nice
Velvetskylark: we'll go make a penguin love nest somewhere in antarctica
-------
Velvetskylark: yay! you took the harry potter test!!!
Mer498: yes!
Mer498: and im sean biggerstaff!
Mer498: :-D
Velvetskylark: if you really were, i'd be driving over to your house right now, but you're not, and i am not a lesbian, so poor meredith, will in fact have to die a virgin
i guess that prediction didn't come true...
-------
Mer498: i dreamed that i was at walmart, buying 5000 cans of grape soda, and the checkout lady was wearing lots, i mean LOTS of makeup, and she ran all of the soda through the little scanner thingy, and went "that'll be 39 cents"...
Mer498: so i paid her a quarter and left. then my dad went on a long story about how he always keeps a grape soda at the front of the fridge at work so that
Mer498: he would see it, and remember how much he likes grape soda, and buy some more sometime
Mer498: because he was out and needed lots more so that when the grasshoppers came they would be happy. then i woke up
-------
Velvetskylark: now lexi and i can both talk about the hot guy that you don't know
Mer498: we have one in our fridge from a couple weeks ago
-------
Velvetskylark: i'm envious of your tap dancing penguin
-------
Mer498: but, DAMN I TASTE GOOD!
-------
Velvetskylark: THERE'S A MOTH IN MY ROOM!!!
Mer498: EAT IT!
Mer498: MOLEST IT!
Mer498: its legal here
-------
*Caitlin attempts to rip Meredith's hair out*
Meredith; ''Argh. Don't rip my hair out. I need that hair to keep from being bald.''
-------
MiladyFireNymph: BUTT!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA
-------
Mer498: i also dreamed that it was my birthday, and as my mom and i were driving home from somewhere, there were suddely all of these HUGE billboards up in our neighborhood. each of them had a giant picture of johnny depp and a strange inside joke written on them. many of them dirty and involving swear words.
Mer498: my mom was like "YOU LIKE JOHNNY DEPP????" like i had just announced that i had a tatoo on my ass. so i was like "uhhhhh" cuz that was obviously a bad thing to admid to
Mer498: the last bilboard, just in front of our house had a giant picture of me and sarah twyman on it, and i automatically knew that it was caitlin who had put the bilboards there
Mer498: as a punishment, my mom made you, me, anna, and nikki go to carowinds.
Mer498: at carowinds, we signed up for the cruise around lake michigan. as we were celebrating in the 'cruise hotel room thingy' because of the minibar and lack of adults, we cruised past the people at carowinds and mocked them because they werent on this totally awesome cruise ship. then the ship made a MAJOR u turn (because carowinds is SO near lake michigan) and it turned over
Mer498: then there was a major titanic moment, and this ugly guy named jack showed up to save us and took us home in his helicopter. and i climbed up on one of the bilboards and just stood there and admired the johnny depp. the end.
-------
Hannah C: "Getting married for the sex is like buying an airplane for the peanuts."
Maebeth: "You don't get peanuts when you buy an airplane!"
-------
Mer498: and what WERE you paying attention to????
Mer498: there was a half naked HOBBIT ON SCREEN
Mer498: dont tell me you actually liked that filler stuff about a ring
-------
Mer498: omg!
Mer498: idea*
Mer498: any time you're talkign to a guy
Mer498: and he's upset over something
Mer498: console yhim by saying
Mer498: at least you're not pregnant
Mer498: but be careful not to put the emphasis on YOU'RE or they'll think that *you* are pregnant
Mer498: and unless you are, not a good assumption
-------
lexi: "I guess pink doesn't really go with fascism."
-------
Mer498: i got cranium for christmas
Mer498: whoah
Mer498: dude
Mer498: if you were like, a foreign exchange student
Mer498: that would read "i got head for christmas"
-------
Caitlin: Yeah, my grandma will be on her eighth husband soon."
Katie: "Yeah, that's gonna be me."
Caitlin: "You're gonna be my grandma's eighth husband?"
Katie: "DANGLING MODIFIER!"
-------
caitlin: "NO! I don't want to talk about frogs ovulating! Not now, not ever!"
-------
me: "A little danger is a good thing. It prepares you, so that one day, when you get attacked by giant bubbles, you'll know what to do. Hit the space bar, baby, hit the space bar."
- posted by mer @ 7:58 PM ~

 

- posted by mer @ 12:09 AM ~

 
do you ever run into something so huge and devastating that you just cannot wrap your head around it? every time i try to figure this out it just shuts me down. it completely shuts me down and i can't breathe or think or make myself get up off of the floor. i just need someone to tell me that things will be alright, but everyone i turn to tells me it will be just the opposite, and we already know what happens then, and i just want to go somewhere safe. anywhere. somewhere where this can't get to me.
- posted by mer @ 12:00 AM ~

 
i got back from engineering camp at nc state today. it was the most amazing thing i've ever done in my life. i had SO much fun, and the people there were absolutely fabulous. as sarah put it, i'm in gender shock. there were about 15-20 girls there for engineering, compared to the 70 or so boys. and i must say....YUM. it was like...pure heaven. smart, gorgeous, hot, nice guys. who can play pool. on some days, i spent as much time playing pool as i did sleeping. it was so much fun. we had to play without the tips on the cues at first, because being the guys that they are, they were being stupid and somehow all of the tips got broken off, so it was basically playing pool with little plastic ends. that made any type of shot incredibly difficult.
i found out that i am not very good at controlling remote control planes. i had some spectacular crashes. somehow, all that happened to my plane was that the nose got a little dented. no idea how that happened, considering people who were way better at flying than i am broke the carbon-fiber boom, which makes the plane completely unable to fly. go figure. i'm sorry, did i mention that i was surrounded by hot guys 24/7 for a week? i could get used to that. and duct taping people into elevators. and playing cards at all hours of the night. i wish it could have lasted longer. the people were so great, and i made so many awesome new friends, but most of them live really far away. jacqueline lives in texas, and emily lives in florida. about 1/2 of the cute guys were from somewhere up north, and a few were from raleigh. only one person i talked to was actually from winson-salem or that general area, but that's still ok, because he's awesome. i need to unpack my suitcase...it's amazing how much stuff you need for an entire week. sheets, towels, etc. took up about 1/4 of my suitcase, which didn't leave all that much room for clothes and things. so when i was packing up, nothing was folded, so everything took up way more space than it could have, and my suitcase is about to pop. talk to me for further details, come see me for pictures. (or maybe joseph will actually get the scanner to work!)
- posted by mer @ 9:32 PM ~