*sigh* too much excitement for one day. we just got back from the emergency vet. george drove dad, maggie, and me after casey and maggie got into a fight and maggie lost a tooth and was bleeding pretty badly. fortunately, it was just a lost tooth and a bit of a doggie nose-bleed, and she'll be on antibiotics for a while. at least this was a memorable gathering. nothing like leaving a whole bunch of guests while you rush your baby doggie to the emergency vet. there was the cutest little boy there while we were waiting. i'd say he was around 4 years old, and he was still in his spiderman pajamas. their six-month-old puppy got hit by a car. i also got to see two new-born akita puppies. they were adorable beyond belief. their mom, this huge 90lb dog was with them, and the puppies werent even six inches long. i'm a sucker for puppies. my stomach is slowly unclenching itself. i was so scared that maggie was really hurt, because this wasn't even her fault. i'll definitely be a lot calmer in time for tonight's festivities.
- posted by mer @ 3:33 PM ~

 
Mer498: you know...an ostrich's brain is smaller than its eyes
Mer498: ms barile has pretty ostrish-esque eyes
martha2361: woww
martha2361: hahahaahah
martha2361: hahahahaha
martha2361: oh gosh thats funny
- posted by mer @ 3:45 PM ~

 
mumblethesilent: yes, meredith, corey just led a real moose into my house
- posted by mer @ 11:22 AM ~

 
i can't put my finger on exactly what it is, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. like i'm being used. like if i were given the choice i would leave and never ever come back. something's just off a tiny bit, and it gets magnified with each thing it effects until things are hell around here. there's a fucking reason i choose to sleep for most of the times you're home and awake. i like waking up after you've gone to work, going out when you come home, and spending most of my awake hours while you're asleep. it means i rarely have to talk to you and deal with your shit. i fucking hate this place when you're awake.
- posted by mer @ 12:42 AM ~

 
emily is my new hero. so thank you emily. now i have a chance of getting into college.
- posted by mer @ 7:58 PM ~

 
bush impersonator: happy holidays! and to all of our jewish friends, happy harmonica. to all our muslin friends, happy top ramen. to all our african american friends, happy quantus.
- posted by mer @ 11:42 PM ~

 
i added new pictures!
http://community.webshots.com/user/evergleam
stuff from boston, halloween, and the play
- posted by mer @ 1:32 AM ~

 
why is it that nearly everyone in this country decides what movies to go see based on which "it" actor of the moment stars in said film rather than which ones are actually really good, excellent movies? it makes me so mad that anyone on the street can tell you at least two things about the movie "gigli" whether or not they saw it, but when it comes to a legitimately fabulous movie, no one has ever even heard of it. if you just say the movie title out of context, they wouldn't know it's a movie, and yet they complain about 'no good movies coming out anymore,' which is ridiculous! it's not that good movies aren't being created, it's that the cinema chains dictate what movies the general public is aware of. for the most part, people only see what the chain movie theater shows, or what blockbuster carries in bulk on the backrow "new release" shelf. i just watched two truly beautiful, touching movies that no one i've talked to has even heard of, and that's painful to me. sometimes i really hate capitalism with its corporations controlling what the public is aware of, but i'm even more disgusted with the majority of the citizens of this country. I'm ashamed to be an American. i honestly am. everything this country seems to represent when you look at the policies actually implemented is something i find repulsive.
- posted by mer @ 11:11 PM ~

 
another fabulous christmas eve excerpt i forgot to include in that long post:
we were talking about how macadamia nuts are really bad for you, because they're basically pure cholesterol and fat, and how my aunt jane sent us some 'macadamia nut butter' to give as a gift to our dear uncle bob (it's a family thing. i can't really explain it more than that) but william suddenly said, in a horrified, incredulous tone of voice "macadamia nut butter???" he was thinking along the lines of 'foot cream' 'hand lotion' 'nut butter' and was naturally horrified that we would give something like that as a gift. man, that still makes me laugh.
- posted by mer @ 8:54 AM ~

 
william makes me laugh. we were outside lighting the luminaries before dinner, and all of a sudden i hear "oh shit! *sputtering noises*" and i look up and he had caught the little drawstring on the hood of his sweatshirt on fire as he bent over to light the next one. it was priceless. i told him he should've stopped. dropped. and rolled. all the times they reinforce that in elementary school, and i have YET to see a person catch on fire and actually do that. and i've seen a couple people catch on fire.
i really enjoyed this christmas eve. we never do anything other than open "santa" presents on christmas day, so christmas is essentially over for me. every single present i got today was cash, so i'm exceedingly happy right now. i think i have $275, and i still have another group of relatives that haven't chipped in yet.
we were over at uncle bob's house this evening, and chrissy was holding the cutest little spaniel puppy! the people 3 houses down the street are getting a puppy from santa, and she kept it for the 2 days before christmas so it would be a surprise. that is so sweet on SO many levels. i got to hold her part of the time, and she was all sleepy and snuggly. then i came home and snuggled with remington and watched bad santa, which is my all-time-favorite holiday movie. but snugglying with remington (85 pound dog) isn't quite the same as with that cute little puppy (i'm guessing around 5 pounds).
i've figured out that i'm liking rob more and more each time i see him. i hear these really bad things about him, but he's just a really sweet, nice guy. which is good, because i'm going to be seeing a lot of him over the years. pawpaw didn't even recognize me, and i can't say i mind at all, because that just means one less creepy old man to try and grope me at family get-togethers.
preface to william's gag gift (i just tried to spell that "guift"): on last valentines day, dot (his step-grandmother on the other side of the family) sent him a package of cookies and a container of vaseline. that's just frickin hilarous, and william was like 'i dont know if she has the wrong idea about the all boys school, or what,' so for christmas, we got him a package of chips ahoy cookies and a tub of vaseline from walmart. and cash. we're not just going to give him shit like that. but as he was leaving, he said "hey, i've got fifty bucks and a tub of vaseline. i'm gonna go buy myself a good christmas present."
sometimes i really love my family.
P.S. granny told chrissy that the way she's wearing her hair now (it's sortof wavy/curly with some sort of hair product in it to keep it that way, with blonde highlights) makes her look like a prostitute. she said this to her face.
- posted by mer @ 1:23 AM ~

 

- posted by mer @ 12:21 PM ~

 
this time i won both games of chess. kently put up a good fight though.
- posted by mer @ 11:26 PM ~

 
kently: how should i have known?? are you supposed to change your font when you're jealous??
- posted by mer @ 11:24 PM ~

 
      

Glittery texts by bigoo.ws

- posted by mer @ 5:30 PM ~

 
I GOT A 770 ON MY MATH 2 SAT SUBJECT TEST!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES!!
- posted by mer @ 5:24 PM ~

 
Rejected Motel 6 Slogans
16. We're working on that smell thing, too.
15. Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car.
14. As seen on "COPS"
13. If We'd Known You Were Staying All Night, We'd Have Changed the Sheets
12. Not just for nooners anymore.
11. We left off the 9, but you know it's there.
10. You rented the room, now buy the video.
9. Sure, you could stay someplace nicer, but then you wouldn't have money left over for a hooker.
8. We'll leave the Lysol for ya!
7. Hey, we're not the Ritz, but just try bringing your secretary there on *your* salary, pal!
6. We don't make the adultery. We make the adultery *better*
5. It's Hookerriffic!
4. Official Lodging of the 1998 Florida Marlins
3. Blurring the line between stains and avant garde sheet art since 1962!
2. Cheap and Easy -- Just Like Your Mother
and the Number 1 Rejected Motel 6 Slogan...
1. We put the "Ho" in "Motel
- posted by mer @ 4:42 AM ~

 
kently got me a shotglass chess set for christmas, and it is fabulous!!! i'm going to have so much fun with that...especially once i get to college...:D
- posted by mer @ 12:26 AM ~

 
Rejected Hallmark Greetings
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day...
Look at the bright side,
she's a really good lay.

My tire was thumping....
I thought it was flat....
when I looked at the tire....
I noticed your cat... Sorry
- posted by mer @ 3:57 AM ~

 
*at a christmas party*
kently: i was like, dude, if he hits on me again, i'm gonna grab his wrinkly balls and twist them
- posted by mer @ 7:32 PM ~

 

- posted by mer @ 3:42 AM ~

 
i'm really not supposed to be putting this up here, but i can't resist. "it was like an orgasm of the hand, and i was like *wiggles hand* *frustrated whiney noise*"
- posted by mer @ 11:20 PM ~

 
stole this from fru b/c i'm really bored and i can't get to sleep because i feel like crud.
Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random, and play.
Step 2: Write down the first line (or close to it) from the first 20 songs that play.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from.

1. radio free fall/the cat walk to the show
2. you make that dance look so new and i'm on a face like you never knew
3. i wanna crawl inside your room, i wanna watch the rose on your cheeks bloom
4. sometimes i'm up sometimes i'm down
5. well i've been watchin' while you been coughin' i been drinking life while you been nauseous
6. welcome to the planet, welcome to existence. everyone's here.
7. you don't need no friends, get back your faith again
8. all her signals are getting lost in the ether
9. jackson met a girl in a valley town. fell into a teenage love she'd grow to hate
10. today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
11. i still feel the same though everything has changed
12. rollin' down the highway like a rocket headed to town
13. time stops when the whispers blare the voices drop hard but the eyes still stare
14. somewhere they're speaking it's already coming in
15. fuck you all, running out of ways to run
16. i say hey, hello, mom and dad. are things great, ok, or just plain bad?
17. she was driving the car, one thumb on the wheel
18. so you sailed away into a grey-sky morning. now i'm here to stay.
19. hope dangles on a string, like slow spinning redemption, winding in, winding out
20. i close my eyes when it gets too sad, i think thoughts that i know are bad

only 3 by everclear. interesting.
- posted by mer @ 2:20 AM ~

 
so we finally got out power back. it's really creepy to walk into your bathroom and hit the lightswitch but still be in pitch blackness. i've been looking forward to exams being over for a long time, because it means we're done with school until after janterm, but now i'm really in an un-holiday mood. i honestly hate this time of year. there's a reason i don't like family gatherings, and i think i'm just going to ditch if it's yet another 'merry christmas. hotdog or hamburger?' at christmas dinner. i dont care if it is at our house, i'm not doing that again. it's all just so fake. because it's "that time of year" you have to shove all of these family members into one room and pretend like everyone gets along. i have to act like i like these people even after they've hurt me countless times and been unbelievably cruel and rude, but since its' christmas eve you have to hug them and tolerate them seriously violating your little personal space bubble. after i don't actually have to anymore, i'm not going to be attending these 'fun' little holiday get-togethers anymore.
- posted by mer @ 10:29 PM ~

 
stole this from amber who stole it from hannah:
i should study physics. is it bad that a third of the exam is on kinematics and i don't know what that is? is it bad that i don't care? oh well. stole this from hannah:

TEN FIRSTS
1. First Best Friend: christiana campbell
2. First Cat: molly
3. First Dog: maggie
4. First Piercing: ears
5. First Big Move: um, only move. spring break 6th grade
6. First Crush: jordan
7. First Car: 2000 chevy impala.
8. First Love: i don't define 'love' that loosely
9. First Kiss: what about it?
10. First Screen Name: meredithamay yeah. i was that original. my dad set it up for me, so i don't get all the credit for that stroke of brilliance

NINE LASTS
1. Last Alchoholic Drink: gin
2. Last Vehicle Ride: home from my LAST EXAM!!!
3. Last CD Played: the mix cd in my car
4. Last Bubble Bath: hm...whenever the last time i was really stressed out...about a month ago i guess
5. Last Time You Cried: night before last
6. Last Hug: this afternoon
7. Last time you really got upset: night before last
8. Last time i watched TV: i just watched an episode of 'project runway.' i don't seem to know what to do with my time now that exams are over and nothing is due until february...
9. Last thing you ate: i crunched on some ice. that should count. before that, chinese food.

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
1. Have you ever dated your best friend: no
2. Have you ever been arrested: no
3. Have you ever skinny dipped: not intentionally
4. Have you ever been on TV: i was in a crowd that was on tv once, but not me specifically
5. Have you ever kissed someone and then regretted it: no
6. Have you ever had a dream about someone you knew: um, that would be what most dreams are unless you dream about complete strangers, so yes.
7. Have you ever felt like your parents favor one sibling over you: hm. no, never had that experience.
8. Have you ever felt like you were high but knew you weren't?: definitely

SEVEN THINGS YOU'RE WEARING (from bottom to top)
1. hair-tie
2. black tshirt
3. bra
4. jewelry
5. underwear
6. happy bunny pj pants
7. a blanket

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. taken a ridiculous ap physics exam
2. spent some quality time with casey
3. ranted about barile
4. wrapped some presents for my mom
5. channel surfed
6. ordered chinese food

FIVE THINGS YOU LOVE TO DO(in no order)
1. listen to everclear
2. go sledding
3. spend time with my puppies
4. play pool
5. watch excellent movies

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO (in no particular order)
1. kently
2. edith
3. fru
4. idk...sarah bare. i don't tell "everything" to any one person...

THREE CHOICES
1. eat or drink? drink
2. skittles or starburst? starburst
3. pink or green? pink

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. go to an everclear concert
2. be successful and happy

ONE THING YOU REGRET
1. that night at the end of june after freshman year
- posted by mer @ 11:12 PM ~

 
the physics exam was ridiculous. if she honestly thinks she taught us how to do all of those problems, she's even more of an idiot than i originally thought. in addition to putting types of problems we'd NEVER seen before on there, it was full of typos and omissions of KEY DETAILS! i spent almost half an hour trying to figure out the stupid rock on a string problem, but there just wasn't enough information. granted, this is sortof the norm for her tests, you're supposed to magically know what variables to solve for in terms of something else, then substitute and solve, but she "just forgot" to put that the period was 1s. gee thanks, lady. i wasted a lot of time trying to figure that one out, when PROOFREADING your exam would have caught that! and also, "the mood circles the earth at a velocity of..." but what really pissed me off was her putting THREE tension problems on there. THREE. i circled the two on the multiple choice section, and wrote "we NEVER finished a tension problem in class. this wasn't on the exam sheet. i have no idea how to do these problems." and she can just deal with it. i had such a major headache when that exam was over. just entirely from frustration. even my calculus exam didn't make me that angry. even without a teacher, i've learned SO much more in that class. i wish we could just yell at ms barile and teach her for a change. i could give her a lesson on how to teach a class, just from knowing what my teachers do. why can't she just BE COMPETENT?!?
- posted by mer @ 8:25 PM ~

 
i got an A on my english exam!!!! yay! that should solidify my A for this semester. for the first time ever, i like moodle. i can find out my grade before whenever they mail out report cards.
- posted by mer @ 4:55 PM ~

 
three and a half hours. that is entirely too much time to be spent doing one thing. however, i'm done with calculus until the ap exam. now i can just hope i managed to get a decent grade. ugh. my brain is so completely useless at this point, i'm not going to be very prepared for the latin exam. i fucking hate this time of year.
- posted by mer @ 10:42 PM ~

 
This Is A Photograph Of Me
It was taken some time ago.
At first it seems to be
a smeared
print: blurred lines and grey flecks
blended with the paper;

then, as you scan
it, you see in the left-hand corner
a thing that is like a branch: part of a tree
(balsam or spruce) emerging
and, to the right, halfway up
what ought to be a gentle
slope, a small frame house.

In the background there is a lake,
and beyond that, some low hills.

(The photograph was taken
the day after I drowned.

I am in the lake, in the center
of the picture, just under the surface.

It is difficult to say where
precisely, or to say
how large or small I am:
the effect of water
on light is a distortion

but if you look long enough,
eventually
you will be able to see me.)
-margaret atwood
- posted by mer @ 12:30 AM ~

 
Blessings
occur.
Some days I find myself
putting my foot in
the same stream twice;
leading a horse to water
and making him drink.
I have a clue.
I can see the forest
for the trees.

All around me people
are making silk purses
out of sows' ears,
getting blood from turnips,
building Rome in a day.
There's a business
like show business.
There's something new
under the sun.

Some days misery
no longer loves company;
it puts itself out of its.
There's rest for the weary.
There's turning back.
There are guarantees.
I can be serious.
I can mean that.
You can quite
put your finger on it.

Some days I know
I am long for this world.
I can go home again.
And when I go
I can
take it with me.
-ron wallace
- posted by mer @ 11:49 PM ~

 
whoah...the site i'm using to study for calculus uses x-hat and y-hat instead of i-hat and j-hat...it's freaky looking:

- posted by mer @ 6:50 PM ~

 
my calculus exam is tomorrow. it can either be 25% of my grade or 75% depending on which one would be better for my average. somehow, i just can't bring myself to really study study for it. i'm just so fed up with it at this point. i understand all of it on a really basic level. it makes sense to me why it should be the way it is, but i cannot sit down and apply it to real problems. probably because i've never really seen it done. i'm just doing whatever step i think should go next. i can do all of the problems about 2/3 of the way through. so i get about 2/3 of the points for each problem. meaning i get around a 67%. well, actually, my average right now is a 77.25 thanks to my lovely quizzes and daily grades. my test average is like a 70 and my daily average is a 99. her tests are so fucking hard. the last test took me 2 hours and 15 minutes, and i got a 61. it's like the amount of time i spend on it is inversely proportional to the grade i get. that makes me really look forwared to the exam. hah. except not. i'm pretty much resigned to my fate right now. i want a 75 or higher, but if my grade still sucks, i really don't care. it's going to be over after tomorrow.
- posted by mer @ 4:42 PM ~

 
*staring at my calculator*
me: where's the other line??
andrea: maybe there are only three quartiles
*pause*
*andrea and i burst out laughing*
fru: what? is that some math humor i don't get?
- posted by mer @ 1:17 AM ~

 
this is the funniest ebay auction i've ever seen
- posted by mer @ 12:04 AM ~

 
not everything in that 'writing about literature in the media age' book is bad:
"there must have been days when you woke up and all you wanted to do was pull the covers over your head and say, 'chuck it. fuck it all. what am i trying to prove here? i surrender. someone please take care of me.' there must have been days when you wanted to shred the sheets with your teeth." -georgiana kleege

"what are the words you do not yet have? what do you need to say? what are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence?" -audre lorde

"we can learn to work and speak when we are afraid in the same way we have learned to work and speak when we are tired. for we have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition, and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us." -audre lorde
- posted by mer @ 10:58 PM ~

 
hcl608: i like johnny! no guns, johnny!
- posted by mer @ 11:13 PM ~

 
life is not being friendly this week. there is too much stress and not enough sleep-time. someone should do something about this.
- posted by mer @ 9:20 PM ~

 
never wrap christmas presents when you're angry. you will inevitably end up using too much force curling the stupid ribbon. causing your thumb to go "ow!" and the ribbon to go "SNAP *frazzled end*" (and yes, i have a talking thumb.)
- posted by mer @ 11:11 PM ~

 
rae completely made my morning. she walked into the senior lounge during 1st period on the phone to her boyfriend. i wasn't really listening, then all of a sudden i hear "honey, you don't pick lamps up by the bulb..........well i have no sympathy for you! of course it was hot, that's why you should've grabbed it from the base...........well i'm sorry you burned your finger, but i have to go......bye wes." it completely made my morning.
- posted by mer @ 9:54 PM ~

 

for when 'i'm not having a good day' just doesn't cover it.
- posted by mer @ 6:30 PM ~

 
so senior vespers went fairly well. i didn't get to burn anything down. just carried the tray of LOTS OF CANDLES. it was so hot. my face was scorching. at some places they only have the corner candle lit, and the passer-out-ers grab an un-lit candle, light it on the corner one, and pass it on. oh well. i found it interesting that senior vespers is "required" for the entire student body, and yet the majority of people i saw there as i was just standing there holding the tray, were parents/siblings that don't go to salem. i get the feeling that on monday there might be a "required means YOU have to be there" speech on monday during devotions. ugh. that's tomorrow. this weekend should not count as a weekend. i had to be at school yesterday at 7:45, and i had to be there today. that's a bit too much of school.
- posted by mer @ 7:26 PM ~

 
i hate days like today. it's either REALLY up or REALLY down. and they just kept switching off, it's so horrible. if the first half of the day were fabulous and the second half shit, or the other way around, i could handle that, but the constant flip-flopping is giving me a horrible headache, and i just want it to be over. i wound down with a movie, and some kind of wonderful is my absolute favorite 80s movie. i do believe i'm going to buy a copy of it at some point. i think it can almost top empire records as the ultimate feel-good movie. as cool as sixteen candles, pretty in pink, and all of the over-hyped 80s movies are, i'm really glad that some kind of wonderful didn't have all of that surrounding it. somehow it detracts from the movie for me if everyone in the entire world sees it that way. oh, and can we say "nosebleed"? because mine is. stupid dry air. oh right. dinner with kay and tommy. i really like them, in spite of myself. why is it that the portion of the family i'm not *actually* related to is the part i like best? there were 7 of us, ALL family, at dinner for three hours, and it was really enjoyable. that never happens with my family. i'm not sure how that worked, but it did. my nose really hurts.
- posted by mer @ 11:56 PM ~

 

- posted by mer @ 11:39 PM ~

 

- posted by mer @ 11:38 PM ~

 

- posted by mer @ 11:36 PM ~

 
highlights from the cast party
-there's no manly way to ring a bell!
-yeah, leslie's just a suit sitting on the couch
-brooke: wait....did you just eat my pizza crust?
- *gabby doesn't like dogs* *dog comes up to her, sits down, and sweetly puts her paw on gabby's knee* *gabby makes a face* 'oh, go away!'

P.S. today at lunch, i was sitting at lunch with mrs feezor and mrs sorrells, and they were talking about some people who had too many absenses, and mrs sorrells said to mrs. feezor: 'yeah, you'll need to turn those names in to eileen.'
can you imagine being on a first-name basis with dr. cahill? it's frightening.
- posted by mer @ 9:43 PM ~

 
several things from the past few days:
-i didn't know it was possible, but ms. barile has gotten even worse as a "teacher" than she was before dr cahill talked to her
-i had a wonderful nap during discrete yesterday. caroline said i was snoring, but my head was about 8 inches from her ear since she sits right in front of me, but lauren (the next closest person) didn't hear anything. i wish i could have a mid-day nap like that every day.
-the calculus test tomorrow is going to destroy me. i understand all of it perfectly, but i cannot do it. i can't get all the way through a problem. i'm too much of a 'conceptual learner' to be able to apply things without having seen them done (hence my greatest problem in physics)
-my dad is pissing me off. i flicked him off at dinner yesterday. i didn't get in any trouble, but my mom kindof glared at me.
-i sent in my va tech application and gave ms beattie my counselor form. i'll finish my nc state application when i find my stupid username they gave me which is something along the lines of mm1287345809808267 with an equally ridiculously complicated password. i wish they wouldn't set these things up for me just because they got my SAT scores. i'd prefer to have a rememberable username/password.
-maggie really needs a bath. she smells horrible. i can smell her coming. which is how i'm sure she feels about everything, but she's a dog. she's supposed to smell things coming. i'm not.
-cast party tomorrow evening, but i have no idea which one is ellen's house. it's only 2 blocks away though.
-i am stressed out.
- posted by mer @ 11:00 PM ~