cue to cue wasn't quite as long as i thought it to be. i left around 7:45. jay was afraid it would go all the way until 10 or later. the booth crew is pretty awesome. me+kate+edith. and brooke for a little while. hell yes. and the new lightboard is sooo awesome. it makes things a lot easier. all of the cues are pre-set, so you only have to type in the cue number. you don't have to deal with how much you're bringing the lights up or anything :) the show's finally starting to come together.
- posted by mer @ 8:57 PM ~

 
Q2Q (a.k.a. cutie Q, a.k.a. cue to cue) is going to be awesome on sunday, but i still really do not want to spend another friday night in the drama workshop, listening to carlos butcher the semi-romantic lines. ugh.
- posted by mer @ 5:39 PM ~

 
even though i know how much i'm eventually going to miss all of this, i really just can't wait for this year to be over and for next semester to start. i'm so tired of dealing with this.
- posted by mer @ 12:02 AM ~

 
everyone named emily must DIE
- posted by mer @ 6:06 PM ~

 
so....senior-faculty breakfast wasn't quite as much fun as i was hoping it would be. i had a good time going with ms uldrick, but faculty-senior breakfast was just SO much more fun. i think it was because i had dr burkette then, and it was the morning after ring-banquet, but it was more casual, more one-on-one, and (in my opinion) more enjoyable. i was at the table with ms uldrick, and mr clark (the computer guy with a scarred face. amanda made it sound kinda worse than it was. besides, he was really sweet) and with kelsey and the three soccer coaches. i don't think i've ever had a conversation with kelsey, and we weren't about to start now. my other lady didn't show up, and there wasn't much conversation at the table. there'd be a few little mini-chats going on, then they'd die off into that awkward silence...with weird country music in the background. i'm glad i got ms uldrick, and not someone like ms barile (poor amber!) but i dont know. it's not the worst of the salem traditions.
- posted by mer @ 5:56 PM ~

 
i can't sleep. i shouldn't have had caffeine at starbucks, and i really did mean to get decaf, but they only had decaf lightnote, and that just sounds horrible. i don't like the lightnote to begin with, and decaf would probably only be worse. i only had a tall verona...but here i am. not asleep. i made myself some hot (decaf) tea with honey. it's very good, but i'm still rather awake. and why do we have a huge jar of honey in the pantry? i'm glad we do, because i like honey in my hot tea, but a full jar containing 3 cups of honey? it must've been a gift or something...
- posted by mer @ 2:27 AM ~

 
my mom just came in and asked to borrow an article of clothing from me for the first time in my life. i am thoroughly weirded out.

on a different note, i just got back from starbucks. fruzsina and i played three games of chess. she won two, i won one. it was fun. i missed playing chess.
- posted by mer @ 10:11 PM ~

 
I FUCKING HATE LIVEJOURNAL! i only have an account so i can comment on other peoples livejournals, so i don't like it much in the first place, but now they fucking FROZE my account because my password wasn't "complex enough" for their standards so now i have to change my password to something with a number or symbol. i'm fine with it if they make me have capitol letters or something, but i don't EVER use passwords with numbers if i can help it! i HATE livejournal! hate it! and if it weren't for the stupid "what word is in that picture?" thing livejournal makes you do if you don't have an account, i'd completely abandon it. i am beyond pissed off right now.
- posted by mer @ 12:04 AM ~

 

- posted by mer @ 12:42 AM ~

 
:( this is the last year for ms beattie AND dr. burkette. this makes me very sad. salem's going to really go downhill after this...
- posted by mer @ 2:51 PM ~

 
*on how to invite people to senior-faculty breakfast*
fruzsina: lexi's writing an invitation to ms cawley on a softball and then throwing it to her
lydia: oh, maybe i should write something to miss dorris on a broom!
- posted by mer @ 12:27 AM ~

 
freedommmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!
- posted by mer @ 8:30 PM ~

 
ms lawrence was mean enough to assign reading over easter break. granted, i rather like the book (as i lay dying) thusfar, but seriously. it's break. none of my other teachers assigned homework...but i figure i can do the reading during one of the following three times:
A) during physics
B) during discrete
C) in my fifth period studyhall
that should be ample opportunity to read the 30 or so pages. and it should make more sense this time since i'm actually aware of who the characters are now. before i had dewey dell's boyfriend confused with her brother, and it seemed wronger than it should have been. he never introduces the characters though. it's annoying. it just switches over to a new narrator and always assumes you know the relationships between the various people. i'm still not entirely sure who's related to whom outside of the main family. oh well. it's ms lawrence english. i don't actually need to know.
- posted by mer @ 8:18 PM ~

 
i just had a really freaky dream. i dreamt that for some reason ms barile was in charge of the musical. and she conducted rehearsals the same way she does examples in class. i.e. start at the beginning each time and never, ever make it to the end. so in my dream it was opening night, and we actually had to go all the way through it, and we had never done act II. so they were just making things up, and in my dream i had a role as a bear in act II, but we'd never rehearsed or anything, so i killed sarah livengood in the play. it was SO weird. i also told ms barile off in my dream. which was very satisfying. i wish i could actually do that in real life. that would make me so happy. like, amazingly, unbelievably, permanently happy. *sigh* too bad it was only a dream. i have a feeling if i actually told her off in real life, she'd just start to cry, which would probably diminish the satisfaction i might get at finally having told her just where to get off.
- posted by mer @ 12:36 PM ~

 
"some people change and your life'll rearrange"
-sugar ray
- posted by mer @ 1:57 AM ~

 
i have filled out my virginia tech housing form. i hope i don't get stuck with a dumbass.
- posted by mer @ 5:05 PM ~

 
there is a dog toy (and a dog) on my bed and i'm pissed as hell. great combination. there are times when knocking the shit out of someone seems like a perfectly normal reaction. too bad not many people agree with me.
- posted by mer @ 11:27 PM ~

 
pseudo-fight with my mom. things are just fucking great. she's being very passive-aggressive and "disappointed in me" rather than actually angry, which is SO much harder to deal with, but this is something i just will not do. i'm not going to compromise on this. i don't support it and i have less than no respect for that sort of thing. and she won't listen. you can't just "do it for me" if you hate everything it stands for. no fucking way.
- posted by mer @ 10:06 PM ~

 
"Away message from bigmac6123: I am beautiful."

yeah...well i am confused. could this possibly be more out of character?
- posted by mer @ 11:54 PM ~

 
the last few days have been...for lack of a better word...unusual. update of what's been going on:
1. this evening we (my parents and i) went out for dinner to vincenzos. we're being seated next to this huge group of about three tables put together, and this guy stands up and greets my dad. they talk for a little while (the conversation proved they hadn't talked in at least five years. lots of 'catching up') and the guy at the end of the table looked at me and gave me sortof a greeting smile. i could NOT place him. i smiled back and tried to figure out who the hell i was looking at. my dad, horrible with names as he is, was no help. 'dad, who was that?' 'someone i used to know from work' lots of help. then it hits me. george brown. now that i knew who he was, he looked remarkably similar to how he did back in 8th grade. just older. i really wasn't expecting to see anyone i knew there. other than joseph and william and them, we've never run into anyone we knew there, and we eat there fairly often.
2. i'm taking ms uldrick to senior-faculty breakfast. and two other people i don't know, but i've been informed that mr. ------ "computers" as ms t so clearly put it is the computer guy with the weird deformed face. i have no clue who this is, but amanda and martha say he's kinda scary looking. just great. i get the junie moon of salem. and ms uldrick. my fourth (somewhat unofficial) choice. grrrrr. i really wanted to take dr burkette, especially since he was the one who took ME to faculty-senior breakfast, but sadly, he is automatically assigned to the class president/vice president. i'm not sure which. it made me really sad.
3. rehearsal yesterday was somewhat a disaster from my standpoint. mrs lawson had to leave, and for some reason or another, john wasn't there. so we didn't have a director, and emily moore just didn't show up. no excuse, no note, no warning that she wouldn't be able to make it, just tess, me, and miss daley. and since tess and i had some things that needed two people to do, we had to abandon miss daley with directing AND conducting duty without a stage manager. we were also missing SEVEN people from rehearsal due to a track meet and various illnesses. and since tess and i were in and out, we had to put zach (carlos' boyfriend) on book for part of the time. he read for eddie (della) the whole time, and when i was there, i read the other missing peoples' lines. it did not go well. it also screwed up the blocking some, since some of the blocking is just to "step closer to eddie" but when there's no eddie on stage, people just get confused. ellen bryan has YET to hit the high note at the end of her solo. how/why she got a solo part is beyond me. she kindof sucks. there are a bunch of other really good singers in the play who don't have solos. it makes no sense.
4. no rehearsal for me tonight! since things got moved around some, tonight was just a dance rehearsal. i.e. miss daley only needed one stage manager. since emily couldn't be bothered to show up tuesday, we just assigned her wednesday night.
5. emily slater was on time last night! a first!
6. results inconclusive, but enough to seriously piss me off. when i do my latin translations i fold the sheet of paper in half (well, i fold it in half while translating, so it's easier to write in the book, so really it's already folded) and i just leave it in the book, at the right page, so the next day in class it's really easy. i started taking my latin book (with the translation in it) home with me. lauren wood didn't volunteer the next day. then yesterday, mrs thrower left the classroom for about the first five minutes of class because brooke needed a bandaid and was threatening to shove her bleeding thumb into my eye and give me aids (mrs thrower didnt hear that part). i opened my book, there are the translations from the past two days, and elisa leans over, TAKES my translation, and goes "oh lauren, sweet! here we go!" and smoothes it out on her notebook and starts to copy it. i am pissed off beyond words, and amazed that she would actually do that. i was completely shocked, and i said 'elisa...give me back my translation.' and she's like "hold on...just let me copy this down" and by this point, i could kill her. my pencil would look very nice jammed into her stupid face. "elisa. i'm serious. give it back." it's not like the translations are hard OR long. it's 8-10 lines. it takes you twenty minutes tops if you just sit down and do it. but NOOOO, go steal mine! fucking morons.
7. got an A+ on my physics problem set thing. which is good, because it will probably be either my only grade, or one of two for this quarter.
- posted by mer @ 11:36 PM ~

 
i loathe, despise, and simply cannot tolerate either emily involved in the play. emily slater has YET to be on time to a rehearsal, and has never had a good reason for being late. EVER. and today, emily moore just disappeared. no one had seen her for about an hour, and ms daley needed her for something, and she was nowhere to be found. she didn't tell anyone where she was going, and we didnt know where she was until about half an hour later she just popped her head back in to see if anyone needed her for anything. she's the fucking stage manager! of COURSE we need something, we need for her to be there!! i was on book, and when she sent tess to go get something at the academy, that left NO ONE to do things! GAHHHHH! i hate stupid people, and if/when mrs lawson leaves and john is in charge, no one is really going to be there to tell them that this sort of behavior is not acceptable. it really doesn't carry the same weight if it doesn't come straight from mrs. lawson. gr.
- posted by mer @ 10:33 PM ~

 
abigail cut my hair! and i really like it. i was kindof nervous while she was doing it, because sometimes she'd be combing out the same section of hair over and over again, looking at it, then yell 'DAD! come over here for a second' but it was really fun too. a nice running commentary on the whole thing was going on in the background the whole time. so my hair looks awesome, and it was a lot cheaper than a good haircut anywhere else.
- posted by mer @ 4:32 PM ~

 
it's casey's birthday!!!! she's six!!!
- posted by mer @ 12:09 PM ~

 
happy birthday kently!!!

P.S. results were inconclusive. updates next week.
- posted by mer @ 9:52 PM ~

 
day 1 of the experiment has commenced. results tomorrow.
- posted by mer @ 8:33 PM ~

 
last year when i actually did stuff as an honor guide i brought two prospective students with me to chemistry class one day. i remember it pretty clearly because since i had two people, i had to sit on the other side of the room where there were more available desks. we were learning about moles, and i remember both of the girls were kindof like 'whaaaaaat?' but anyway, one of those girls was lindsey anderson! i totally didn't put that together until the other day at rehearsal she asked if i was an honor guide, because she remembered me taking her to chemistry. i just think that's pretty damn awesome.
- posted by mer @ 12:03 AM ~

 
now whenever i hear the words "thank you" as a closing to a speech or anything, i expect to hear the words "file out" immediately afterwards, and it just doesn't sound right without them. stupid salem...
- posted by mer @ 5:59 PM ~

 
i've really got to stop doing this. every time i get to this place where it seems like things will be ok, and things are just falling into place the way they should something happens and i am once again reminded that i've only been fooling myself. it's never enough. it doesn't matter what happens, or how things work out, it will never, ever be quite good enough. and it's always my fault. i'm the one who remembers the conversation wrong. i'm obviously the one who started the chain reaction so of course the whole thing's on me. and it's always, always discussed in a public place. it can never be at home in the living room, because they didn't like what happened the last time they tried that, so i have to sit there, seething inside, while we wait for our goddamn table. nothing will ever be good enough, and i'll never have the right answers, and they're still throwing it in my face. you'd think things would changeor that i'd learn, but i'm always dumb enough to fall for the smile and the false promise. and now...i want to scream i get it at the top of my lungs, just so i won't have to listen to it anymore. i'd give anything not to listen to that anymore.
- posted by mer @ 12:16 AM ~

 
happy april fools day!!
and happy birthday edith!!!!!!!!!!!
- posted by mer @ 3:16 PM ~